Friday, July 25, 2003
"is she walking that log, or is the log walking her?"

this picture may clarify my park activities to you. or, it may confound you further. is she chasing that log? has the evil log creature evaded our superheroine's grasp, yet again? if so, why is she smiling? there are many questions i'm sure that still puzzle you.

but for now, suffice it to say that
daisy was the first person to approximate what the bloody flying hell was going on ... i was, in fact, moving a log, in a park. sharp eye, daisy. stay tuned for an email from me. you will be recieving a SUPER TOP SECRET [as yet undetermined but you know it'll be cool] NINJAMONKEY PRIZE*.

and i think we all snorted coffee through our office-drone noses this morning when we read sherlock holmes' careful, meticulous and thoroughly outlandish deduction concerning my double-life as a babe for hire, a mysterious agency referred to as the Federal Office of Dirt Security, and an underground market in rolling loam. and some ATVs. congratulations, mr. holmes. you have also won the SUPER TOP SECRET NINJAMONKEY PRIZE*. however, since you seem to be on the lam from FODS and are thus anonymously posting such raving genius, you're going to have to email me to recieve your prize in the mail. i promise not to turn you over to the authorities if you promise not to reveal my identity to the Feds.

congrats, daisy and "holmes".

*prize is valid in every state except idaho. for no good reason. rules and regulations: you may not recieve the prize if you are with the authorities, trying to steal my identity, or crazy in any certifiable way. you may not recieve the prize if you've ever had a beer with a rhino and a penguin on a tuesday afternoon in boise. in fact, you might not even recieve the prize if you live in boise. pH doesn't trust boise. prize is not guaranteed to be top secret, super, or in any way involving ninjamonkeys. please address all concerns and disputes over prize in writing and notarized. pH takes no responsibility if you're not cool enough to recognize the cool factor of the afore-mentioned prize. pH generally takes no responsibility for anything you think, do, or say.

love, krissa .... 7:33 PM ... link!

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Thursday, July 24, 2003
i never cease to puzzle and amaze!

the first person who answers correctly WHAT i am doing in this picture gets first prize, a naked picture of me a surprise in the mail.

and just for fun, the most creatively elaborate answer will get something too.

jason, shiv, no fair playing, you guys were there.]

love, krissa .... 5:53 PM ... link!

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Wednesday, July 23, 2003
life's little cliches, the epilogue
**dedicated to
fulminous, on his 26th birthday. thanks for being a warrior.**

love hurts. sometimes we wish we didn't love as hard as we do - we'd hurt less, wouldn't we. sometimes we barely know when to walk away, to let go, and even when we do, we keep looking over our shoulders at the thing we love, at the thing we're letting go. love bloody stinks. we'll all keep coming back for more, but there's that last moment when it just stings and pulls and tugs and drags and you yell, that's IT! ENOUGH! i will resign myself to catladydom. you know it isn't true. but if feels nice to say it.

things never go as planned. you can hope and believe and trust and have faith and count chickens and it won't really matter on the battlefield. and things you'd hoped for, little pieces of feathered hope, they float slowly down until they're unrecognizable on the ground. but like a recent amputee, you keep grasping for them - here was a road trip we'd talked about, here was a weekend we'd spend together, here was a meal i wanted to cook, here were my cutest underwear, tucked in a drawer for a special night, here was a bed, here was a towel, here were little dreams nestled all over new york. and you have to remind yourself the arm isn't there, the plans are smudged and unreadable.

you'll always have your friends. people who take days off work with you, to sit in the park and mull over romances and heartaches while tugging at springy green grass and watching children play. people who call you twice as often as they usually do, because they know it's rough out there. people who buy you drinks and know when to change the subject to something ridiculously funny. people who let you cry - in public, on the phone, on their favorite shirt. people who make you 'wallowing in misery' mix CDs but know when to come to your apartment and wallow with you. people who let you crash on their couch because you don't want to be alone. people who rally for you and sing your praises. people that love you when you don't feel like loving yourself. and people who'll offer to fight your battles, knowing full well you have the strength to fight them yourself. friends.

love, krissa .... 9:45 PM ... link!

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new york's getting hotter by the minute.

i knew it. lifelong karmic validation.
sarah b. is moving to the big apple.

you know what that means, right?


love, krissa .... 1:07 AM ... link!

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Tuesday, July 22, 2003
wish list sonata in four notes and six swishing fabrics

i want a demure scoop-neck white dotted swiss lace dress (empire waist, a-line, knee-length) with a baby-blue satin sash. to be worn with pearl drop earrings and a simple diamond ring. for moonlit summer walks in vienna.

i want a ruby-red plunging neckline halter dress (curve-hugging knee-length) that shows off my shoulders and my legs. to be worn with black onyx chandelier earrings, hair up, flashingly smoky eye make-up. for gloriously humid evenings, dancing the tango on the cobblestoned streets of buenos aires.

i want a cherry-blossom pink organza number (knee-length, strapless and bodiced) with a flouncy crinoline underskirt and a black velvet sash . to be worn with bee-stung pink lipstick and a black flower-corsage choker. for wild spring nights carousing the streets of paris.

and i want a black-with-creme-polka dot dress (plunging v-neck, a-line) with creme tulle underneath and a cinched waist. to be worn with a simple pearl necklace and hair curled and bouncy. for swell cocktail parties and those magically cozy dinner-and-a-movie nights, strolling the shimmering sidewalks of new york, arm-in-arm.

come now, is this too much to ask?

love, krissa .... 11:16 PM ... link!

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Dear Cashier at Supermarket who was Totally, Like, Sixteen, but still Felt it was Her Duty to Tell Me, as I was Buying Cigarettes, "You know, that's really really bad for you, you should quit smoking, I have this friend who blah blah blah" and Continued to Talk at me Even After I Said, "I don't need your advice" and Stormed out of the Store:

Honey, there's no nice way to say this, but ... you're FAT. you're downright OBESE for a sixteen year old. SERIOUSLY. and you were munching on cheezeypoofs. and you're talking to ME about bad habits?

Love, Krissa

Dear Guy Who Stood in a Phone Booth at 50th and 7th and Unabashedly Stared at Me Crying on the Cell Phone to my Friend While Standing in Front of a Starbucks, Because If That's Not Humiliating ENOUGH, It Helps to get Stared at Like You're a Fucking LEPER:


Love, Krissa

love, krissa .... 12:25 AM ... link!

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Monday, July 21, 2003
the pH tea and sympathy cocktail hour


mint julep, cosmopolitan, french martini, sidecar, manhattan, gin rickey, or a stiff bloody mary.

got a sweet tooth?

pink frosted cupcake, key lime pie, banana pudding, hummingbird cake, or a glazed raspberry torte.

the jukebox will be crooning -

black coffee [ella]
these foolish things [etta]
all of me [sarah]
cry me a river [dinah]
them there eyes [billie]
i'll get by [dinah]
they can't take that away from me [ella]
unforgettable [nat king cole]

so what'll it be, folks?

love, krissa .... 9:23 PM ... link!

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