Saturday, September 20, 2003
rolling with the proles

yesterday, i had a short-lived epiphany. running seventeen different errands all over midtown, i decided to be brave and take a bus. so i took a bus from 38th and 6th to 57th and 6th, then a crosstown to 57th and 8th.

and i'm thinking, DAMN! look at ME! riding the city BUS!

later that night, i'm leaving inwood, so i decide to continue my streak of gleeful bus-riding with supreme confidence. i take the A downtown from my friend's apartment and get off at 125th street, all set to take the M60 over the triboro into queens. why? because i have a NEW FOUND UNDERSTANDING OF BUSES, that's why.

bus rolls up. i get on it, giddy with plebian pride. sit down and start reading.

ten minutes later, i look up, since we've just crossed a bridge structure of some kind. then i see the road sign. willis avenue. sinking, gnawing feeling. i know where willis avenue is. DA BRONX.

desperate to cling to my faith in the city buses, i turn and ask the girl behind me if there's any damn chance this bus is going to queens. she lets out a howl. pretty soon, i've got six people, half of them drunk, trying to tell me how to get back to harlem.

the bus spits me out, chewed up and alone, onto willis avenue. and i'm thinking, i'm cool, i can handle this shit.

did i mention it's 3 in the morning at this point?

and here's where the spiritual tug of war begins. there's no problem,, my sarah lawrence educated brain told me, you're not like those people that's terrified of the bronx and the projects. i steel every inch of my 5'2" self with my LV handbag and my shopping bag from lord & taylor. i'm not a pansy, i swear. and then some guy drinking out of a paper bag tells me from across the street that he's SURE he can tell me my star sign, JUST COME OVER HERE BABY. then the other side took over.

OMG I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE HOLY CRAP THERE'S GONNA BE A DRIVE BY OR I'M GONNA GET RAPED AND MY POOR MOTHER IS GOING TO THINK, "WHAT WAS PUMPKIN DOING IN THE BRONX!" AND SHE'LL THINK DRUGS WERE INVOLVED, HOLY CRAP, TAXI!

i throw out my white-bread bougie arm at the nearest passing livery car, jump in, and pay $30 to get driven ten minutes over the triboro bridge to my safe little corner of queens.

i'm ashamed of myself. and i'm never taking the M60 ever again.


love, krissa .... 6:32 PM ... link!

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making it float.


krissa and matt, thanksgiving, 2000.



happy birthday,
matthieu. here's to coming into the gap to ask me out six long years ago. to afternoons at starbucks. to the freak dating the cheerleader. to driving down memorial seeing who could beat the traffic lights. to cafe artiste. to leaving notes on each other cars, to kudos bars, to formal dances, to breaking up and making up and making out. to letters from france. to late night laughter, to sudden cooling breezes, to IHOP. to smacking me in the face with your shoe, to volvos, to hellos and goodbyes, to all the times i swore it was the last time i'd stand on your curb and hug you goodnight. to misundersandings and awkward silences and pigeons who eat sweet'n'low. to breaking my heart, promising you'd fix it, and succeeding. to zoos and llamas and plastic penguins. to crying over your bullet wound and making my mother finally like you. to every time you've been the only person who could make me laugh so hard i can't breathe, and every time you've taken my breath away with your kindness and gentle spirit. to long drives, slow drags, sweet goodnights and durable friendship.

here's to you, matthieu. je t'aime.

love, krissa .... 12:01 AM ... link!

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Friday, September 19, 2003
cocktease

seriously, men, back me up here. you take your date out, you listen to her drone on for three full days about storm barriers and tidal waves and flying debris her nails and hair and galpals...

you expect to SEE A LITTLE LEG.

case in point: tropical pansy isabel. don't take this personally, People Who No Longer Have Roofs, but i canceled half my evening's plans expecting to sit in my window and watch the storm roll in. i half-expected to not have to go to work tomorrow. and now i'm just going to get soaked by virginia's sloppy seconds and i'm not even going to SEE ANY ACTION.

if i were a man, i'd have blue balls.


love, krissa .... 7:27 AM ... link!

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Thursday, September 18, 2003
pc, schmee see.

if you* resist the urge to call your boss a "ridiculously incompetent cock-chewing dingbat who couldn't find his brain in an EMPTY PAPER BAG" two things will happen.

1. you will keep your job

but

2. you will fester on the inside.

* and by "you" i mean, "not me". i'd never want to call my higher-ups anything involving the word cock-chewing.


love, krissa .... 8:30 PM ... link!

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my solemate

To: Kate
From: Krissa
Wednesday, September 17, 2003 10:49AM
Subject: URGENT TELEGRAM

I MISS YOU ALREADY AND YOU HAVEN'T EVEN LEFT THE STATE.


To: Krissa
From: Kate
Wednesday, September 17, 2003 12:22AM
Subject: Re: URGENT TELEGRAM

TELL ME ABOUT IT STOP ON ONE HAND I CAN'T WAIT TO GO HOME AND WRITE LOADS ABOUT HOW SPECTACULAR YOU ARE AND POST GORGEOUS PICTURES FOR ALL TO SEE STOP ON THE OTHER HAND I DON'T WANT TO BE SO FAR AWAY FROM YOU MY DARLING!

_______________________


seriously,
she's the absolute fucking best there is. there's a lot of fucking good out there and she's the FUCKING BEST. all i can say is, when the Big Shit hits the Fan, i can only hope kate is at my side, swilling vodka and laughing at the chickens falling out of the sky.





love, krissa .... 7:37 PM ... link!

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yogahh.

the best thing about yoga is that it activates muscles you never knew you had. muscles that might later come in handy. you know, whenever.


love, krissa .... 5:30 PM ... link!

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Wednesday, September 17, 2003
fashionista!

and how was the catherine malandrino show, you ask?

fabulous. fabulous, fabulous, fabulous, most fabulousest.


love, krissa .... 11:56 PM ... link!

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famouser than you

you all know them. heather champ, derek powazek, kottke and megnut, anil dash. they're web royalty, whereas me, i'm more like a guard at some distant little-used side entrace. so i don't keep those ultra-famous denizens of the web linked up on this page. it'd be like finding a sign to peter luger's steakhouse on the menu at mcdonald's .. GO HERE! THEY'RE BETTER! i simply graze in my own pasture, and link to my own little circle of fellow bloggers.

but that doesn't mean i don't peruse the sites of the rich and famous. well, famous anyway. because i do. which is why
lance arthur's recent foray into web-lebrity mocking strikes me as particularly funny.

love, krissa .... 9:01 PM ... link!

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yuppie, redux

most mornings, i cringingly push myself out of bed, 20 minutes before i have to leave the house. i use these 20 minutes to carelessly get ready, apply and conduct the minimal amount of health/beauty regimens, and dash frantically about in jack-russell-terrier style, trying to find wallet/keys/cellphone/book/makeup/etc. then i trudge to the subway station, trying to find the joy in all of this, still half asleep until i get to work.

but this morning, i woke up at 7:45am. i ran downstairs to get the paper and listened to ten minutes of npr as i ate cereal in bed, then i took a hot shower and blowdried my hair. there was a stain on a new shirt, so i soaked it in woolite while i got dressed, then hung it out to dry while i gathered my things to leave. since i got to midtown five minutes early, having read the entire front section of the WSJ on the subway, i treated myself to a cherished double-tall caramel macchiato. look at me, i thought to myself on the sunny five minute walk from starbucks to the office. i'm all growed up.

then i realized i'd left the tag on my new pants and forgotten my work ID at home.


love, krissa .... 5:54 PM ... link!

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Tuesday, September 16, 2003
gagging on my silver spoon

yesterday, i met up with a friend i hadn't seen in six years, and we went down to soho to have pizza at
lombardi's followed by dessert at magnolia. today, i'm sitting front row at the catherine malandrino spring '04 collection, for fashion week. and tomorrow, i'm doing two hours of hatha yoga at the west side Y, wandering over to cafe mozart's and then the movies for a date.

i'm gagging on my own yuppie self. and i'm loving it.


love, krissa .... 8:55 PM ... link!

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Monday, September 15, 2003
also

choire is funnier than you.

love, krissa .... 11:37 PM ... link!

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ignorance was bliss

apparently, ben and jen were going to get married.

i didn't know this.

apparently, they split up the day before their wedding.

i didn't know this either.

this is why i love my life. because i didn't know anything about bennifer for two solid weeks.


love, krissa .... 11:28 PM ... link!

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monday. yeah. HI.

i'm broke as hell until tomorrow and i made plans to show a friend the town tonight.

my lymph nodes are incredibly, mutinously furious with me.

my body seems to be malfunctioning.

YARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! it's monday.


love, krissa .... 5:06 PM ... link!

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