Saturday, October 18, 2003
weekender!

tonight, drinks and pizza and pool at
wang's fabulous bachelor pad. tomorrow, early morning laziness with J, followed by unspecified fun in the city. saturday night - baseball! sunday, brunch for six! quiche, potatoes, belllinis, and friends!

hurrah for blustery, hand-holding, scarf-wearing fall weekends!

love, krissa .... 12:31 AM ... link!

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Friday, October 17, 2003
all i've got to say to red sox nation is ...

PPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBBTBTBTTBTBBT.

and

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA.

gracious winner? you must have me confused with someone else. i'm currently too busy dancing all over the grave of red sox world series dreams.


love, krissa .... 4:57 PM ... link!

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Wednesday, October 15, 2003
tumbleweeds always stop at water

i'm sitting on the floor in a house. i'm looking out the window in front of me - i see the ocean. not the beach, or some cheesy bay, but the majestic, enormous ocean. deep, unapologetic blue, teasing white crests of waves. the ocean. the window is uninterrupted glass stretching from left to right, and all i can see from my house is ocean.

inside my house i have very little furniture. perhaps a couch, facing the infinite ocean windows. perhaps just two arm chairs. perhaps just one, since i'm alone in this house. in my kitchen there is food, of course, and even a small table to eat it at, but nothing else. no whirring appliances, no dishwasher, no stacks of clattering plates.

my bedroom, in this house, also faces the ocean. of course it does. the ocean is the only reason i am in this house. my bed is large but white and the only thing in the room. along a wall in my bedroom there are many books. but no television, not in this house.

the house is perched on rock, peering at the ocean. perhaps this is the californian ocean, the mighty pacific. perhaps i'm in carmel. it does seem likely, doesn't it - the soaring windows, the hardwood floors. but perhaps i'm in maine, overlooking the brooding dark atlantic. sunrise, sunset, is the only difference. what matters isn't where this house is. nor does it matter if it exists, exactly like i see it - a delicate glass and wood and steel cage for me, perched at the edge of blue indifferent water. what matters is that it's mine, it's empty, it's quiet, and it's where i wish i was, right this instant.

cross-legged on hardwood floors. supported and surrounded by sunlight. staring through the glass. at the ocean.


love, krissa .... 9:48 PM ... link!

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TRAVELOGUE

friday, 10:30 pm - arrive in austin. get picked up at airport by world's best gal pals, erin [otherwise known as erwin, mind, eeyore, j-master E, kolache, poopy pants] and raychul [aka raych, shanti, kanga, soul, loquat, wombat queen, and "rachel" to those not in the know].

11:30 pm - fantastic brother-figure luiz arrives. brings beer and hugs all round.

12:30 pm - smoke. meet up with amy. head to the all-important magnolia cafe to sit for two hours and eat queso and smoke cigarettes and drink fountain soda. this was the point where erin makes clear that she has "lost a word". there is a word she uses a lot, that means haphazardly predicting the future. she can't remember word. i tell her she probably smoked that brain cell.

2:30 pm - collapse in bed. giggle. giggle more. fall asleep.

saturday, 11 am - wake up. decide breakfast is in order. make plans to meet raychul at fabulous breakfast place up on burnet and 50th, the Omlettry. pile into jetta, drive to Omlettry. eat absurd amounts of breakfast food. make fun of new californian governor.

2 pm - go to raych's pretty grown-up married-person apartment. hang out with fabulous raychul-husband, matt. play with fabulous and devilishly cute raychul-matt-married-person-cat, neville. eat a cookie. decide to go to sports bar and watch Texas-OU game.

3 pm - go to Trudy's with erin and luiz. sit on porch and watch rain, drink mexican margaritas, smoke cigarettes, talk about sex, ignore football game completely. erin continues to attempt remembering word. fails. extrapolating? projecting? no.

5 pm - slightly sloshed, head back to erin-pad, shower and get ready for night-out fun. drink beer. smoke. get fabbed up. discuss dirty sexual things and forget Brother is in the room.

8 pm - convene at guero's on south congress in a massive group of 11 people. wait hour for table. discover from middle-school gal-pal kathleen that First Boyfriend, Michael S., has now come out of closet. hurrah! eat dinner of mexican food. discuss halloween costumes and high school.

10:30 pm - head back to house. smoke. get ready to go gay-dancing.

11:50 pm - go gay dancing at boyz cellar. watch pretty twinks writhing with other pretty twinks on dance floor. laugh at the pretty twinks. dance feet off.

2 am - head across street to halcyon for "night cap". erin continues to drunkenly attempt remembering word. fails again. bailey's is had. cigarettes are smoked.

3 am - drunken sleep.

sunday, 11:30 am - wake up. get coffee at local starbucks where erin is barista. thus, coffee is free. drink tasty free coffee. discuss plans for day. decide to drive to san marcos to hang out with matthieu and have world famous bloody marys.

3 pm - arrive in san marcos. go with matthieu to showdown, for world-famous bloody marys. also indulge in: scoping cute bartendress and goading matthieu to ask her out, discussing the manipulation of media, playing ms. pac-man and tekken three and pinball, drinking more bloody mary.

6 pm - return to austin. make girl-night plans to meet amy and raychul at what food-twin amy assures is best fajitas in town, cerranos. sure enough, eat best fajitas in town (austin, sorry austinites, is a terrible fajitas town. gotta go h-town way for the good sizzlin stuff). stuff face with fajitas.

9 pm - head over to amy's fab pad to smoke, drink, and watch goonies. smoke, drink, and watch goonies.

2 am - back to erin-pad for last night cuddling up with erin. decide to smoke and make brownies. smoke and make brownies. eat brownies. giggle a lot more. make fun of hipster-next-door-neighbors. discuss plans for me to flee Big City and move to austin and live on erin-couch. confirm wiseness of such plan. fall asleep at 4 am.

monday, 11:30 am - wake up. get stuff ready. be sad about leaving brownies/apartment/austin/erin. sad sad sad.

1 pm - meet raych at starbucks. erin tries again to remember word. fails. i remind her she smoked it. drive to airport with fresh coffee and heavy heart.

2 pm - fly home to new york, slightly less in love with life here. miss friends/fajitas/driving/erin/raychul/amy/austin already. consider jumping off plane to return.

EPILOGUE

wednesday, 8 am - phone rings while on subway platform.

me: "what the hell are you doing calling me at goddamn thirty in the morning?"
erin: "I REMEMBERED THE WORD!"
me: *squeal* "really?!"
erin: "SPECULATING!"
me: "well THAT makes sense!"
erin: "so i didn't smoke it AFTER all!"
me: "yes, you did. did you smoke last night?"
erin: pause "no!"
me: "then there you go. you got it back."

MORAL..OGUE

SEE WHY I MISS TEXAS BEFORE I EVEN LEAVE?


love, krissa .... 7:58 PM ... link!

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Tuesday, October 14, 2003
feminism, the reason behind

i want to think
it's funny. god knows, when men read it, they laugh. but i didn't print it out and frame it above my desk because i think it's funny.

i did it to remind myself why i do what i do every day. why i have a bank account that runs so low i fly into a mad money-less panic, but still manage to survive without begging my parents for money. why i struck out in new york, determined to find a job, determined to live on my own. why i dragged myself to the hospital two months ago even though i was crying buckets that there was no one there to take care of me. why i sneer back at men who catcall me on the streets, but refuse to stop wearing gorgeous sexy tops and five inch heels. why i curse, smoke, drink, laugh too loud, and still manage to be sexy. why i'm inordinately proud to be an independent woman - mood swings, character flaws, and all.

i'll look at that list every day, and i won't laugh - but i'll smile. because i don't bring a man his drink, his conversation isn't more important than mine, and i wouldn't know "my place" if it hit me on the head.

love, krissa .... 5:36 PM ... link!

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Monday, October 13, 2003
just to remind you...

i'm still in TEXAS AND IT'S ROCKING THE FACE OFF YOUR STATE'S FACE.


love, krissa .... 8:20 AM ... link!

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