Saturday, January 17, 2004
give me heaven or hell, calais or dover

winter makes me restless. well, more restless than usual. summer usually finds me happy, humid, in dainty heels and big sunglasses sipping sangria with my friends. but winter finds me desperately wishing to be the someone else who'd be long gone from the harsh pierce of arctic air.

when i'm dreaming of escape hatches magically appearing, there's an element of fantasy to them. when i escape realistically, i go visit friends in places i'm familiar with, flying off for a weekend. but when my imagination soars away from the skyline of new york - it's always a slightly different me that's leaving.

the romantic in me always wants to go to vienna with a lover. i want to wander the tiny cobblestone streets, listen to opera, and sit in cafes together, reading the herald tribune, intermittedly reaching with hands and eyes across the table to offer some love and share the joy of the old city and the best cafe in the world. this imaginary lover, of course, has the best taste in books and is naturally a john irving fan, so we can relive our favorite moments in HNH and Garp. and maybe, at the moment where we're riding a vespa outside of the city to explore the mountains and i've got my arms around his waist, everything will be perfect.

then of course, there are other places, places from my past, which call me back. i wish i was sixteen again, wandering the north kenyan beach in front of our open villa wearing nothing but a bikini bottom and an oversized, faded budweiser tee shirt. i miss watching my puppy terrier kirby (god rest his puppy soul) chasing sand crabs and i miss holding nothing a book and a glass of pineapple juice in my hands. i miss that wild coastline, with seaweed floating lazily in the azure green water. i miss the feel of rough sand between your feet, the vast silence of the ocean. i miss that youth, those long weeks spent walking up and down the beach, building bonfires with friends at night, eating home-cooked meals and waking up on the top floor of the villa, no walls between me and the ocean, sleepily petting the dogs and watching the sun warm up the most beautiful place on god's green earth.

perhaps the person i see escaping life to a cottage in the english country side, or by the great lakes, is an older person altogether. perhaps she's married, perhaps she even has some beautiful children. all i know about her is, she craves the solitude of a cabin on the lake, or a cottage in the hills. she doesn't need to hold someone's hand on cobblestone streets, or be sixteen by the wild kenyan coast. she needs her peace, she needs her privacy. she needs nothing but a book, a cup of tea, some cake, and the fireplace. she may be married, happy, successful, but she's in this cottage alone. and she likes it that way. because when she stares into the fire and looks back at her life and where it's brought her, she's both happy to have it and happy to let it go for a weekend.

and most of all, most unlike me, is the crazy girl who'd get in a car with her two or three best friends and drive as far as the road stays straight. i dream of being in a car, wearing nothing but my bra and underwear, driving through montana and laughing crazily about the coke i stole from the convenience store forty miles back. sleeping in the car, hanging out with strangers, driving with my knees, sitting outside the window while the car does eighty miles a hour... it may never be me, and my roadtrips may always need a plan, a backup plan, and a plan B backup plan. but it's nice to think, every now and then, that i could be that crazily spontaneous.

love, krissa .... 12:29 AM ... link!

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Friday, January 16, 2004
"... and they ran off and had adorable ralph lauren babies together."

...which is no doubt how the show would end if life was sex and the city. natch, it's not. so, the date with The Preppy was quite nice. at first it felt a bit stiff, since he's a good deal more reserved and even keel than i am. he was almost laconic, very nearly monotone. being around quiet people makes me react like a hummingbird on crack. that is to say, i'm all over the map. when i'm really comfortable around people, i'm not more chatty than socially acceptable and piercingly charming. but around quiet people ... i feel the need to compensate. hence, the crack-filled hummingbird effect.

halfway into the meal, The Preppy visibly loosened up and we had quite a few nice chats of varying seriousness and depth. he seems intelligent. we talked about college, about our jobs in the magazine industry, drugs, living overseas, and death to hipsters.

but here's the thing, folks - our The Preppy is SO much preppier than even i could have imagined. we're talking northern california upbringing, exclusive boarding school, yale [dear god another yalie], summers at a vineyard in france... i was overwhelmed by the Preppiness of it all. as much as i'm a proud self-proclaimed yuppie, i certainly didn't have a classic Preppy life, and i'm drawn to it almost as much as i mock it. for all his preppiness, he's still quite sweet and rather down-to-earth. so we'll have to see, won't we. for now, i had a nice date with a curly-haired, blue-eyed blond boy with nice fashion sense and a sweet - if rare - smile.

the kicker is, as we left the cafe and made our way to the F train, it was snowing big lazy flakes, and the light was glowing pink in that way only manhattan manages to pull off, and the west village was the most perfect place in the world, and we shared a cigarette and talked about winter and music ... and i didn't kiss him, even though i wanted to. how pussy am i? SO puss. and as we rode the F together, i didn't see my stop creep up on me, and had to dash off awkwardly, thus shooting the chance for my classic goodbye kiss mojo.

ah well, if this one crashes and burns, there are always more The Preppies out there to satisfy my yuppie fantasies.

love, krissa .... 12:17 AM ... link!

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Thursday, January 15, 2004
turning to tricks

any mild harmless foot fetishists out there? i have a proposition for you. buy me
these boots and i'll send you a picture of me wearing them. that sounds about fair, right?

love, krissa .... 8:37 PM ... link!

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miss otis regrets

i have a blind date tonight. with a man i'll call The Preppy due to his UWS address, connecticut area code, and izod-wearing golf-playing first name. this is a rare date with someone who doesn't read this blog, so you can bet your bottom dollar i'm gonna milk it. however, it's in the single-digits outside. i'm seriously considering sending the following email:

dear The Preppy:

look, we're both adults here. let's admit it - it's fucking freezing outside. we both probably have been scarred into such low expectations from this date, its unlikely we'll be able to see the forest for all the raging cynicism. so how about we reschedule for say, the 20th? of april? unless we've met someone undoubtedly better?


The Bitch

but i don't think i'll do that. i think i'll brave the cold and the west village because along with all the other self-improvement i've been up to recently, i've promised myself an opener mind when it comes to actually getting to know men who might, at some point, let me down. while it feels like cozying up to a hand grenade, just pass me my armor and call me a soldier. The Preppy, here i come.

love, krissa .... 12:30 AM ... link!

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Wednesday, January 14, 2004

i usually don't post too many of my longer essays on pH, preferring to keep things short and pithy. when i do, though, they usually live over at the deuxieme hiboux. recently, i wrote a piece about what my childhood really meant to me. i wrote it as a way to finally understand and communicate how being an overseas kid affects you - not just knowing different languages or getting to say, "when i was in africa...", but the way it shapes your personality.

so if you're interested, it's living over
here for a while. if you have no desire to read anything of merit, here is a shallow, flaky pH thought for the day:

you know, if carrie bradshaw had to deal with single-digit weather, she wouldn't always have the cutest outfit on either. she'd be all, "i have to work with three layers of wool, and i'm supposed to look spunky and original on top of THAT?"

love, krissa .... 8:00 PM ... link!

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Tuesday, January 13, 2004
why i enjoy chatting with D:

exchanges like -

krissa: well, i won't use you as a battering post for all my personal frustration with people with committment issues.
D: Thanks. I won't get snarky and condescending back at you.

love, krissa .... 8:17 PM ... link!

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Monday, January 12, 2004
le petit hiboux presents :: the art of charm and preparedness....

The Fabulous Girl Gadget Guide!

part of being charmed is being fabulous. and part of being fabulous, is being prepared. not just in the girl scout way... but in the fabulous girl way. and the most important element of on-the-go fabulous is a FG's purse and contents. petit hiboux is here to point out what every fabulous girl already knows, but perhaps needs a gentle reminder of.

the Fabulous Girl Purse

well, every girl, fabulous or otherwise, has her fair share of purses! this is just one example of a cute, all-functional black purse. believe it or not, girls, i got this fantastically chic new trend, the initial bag, at target. yep. pick a purse based on your needs, of course, but also based on criteria like: will i completely destroy leather within six months [if yes, settle for a nice believable imitation]? do i need the strap to fit over large winter coats? shouldn't i at least look at somplace divinely marked-down like TJ Maxx, that still carries huge designers, before i drop $400 on this DKNY clutch? these are important questions every FG would ask. now, what's inside this girl's best leather friend?

a. the wallet: i always think it's a good idea to have a big heavy wallet, that way you feel its absence if it gets lost or stolen. other than that, the style is completely up to you!
b. the address book/agenda: unless you're a tech-savvy FG and have yourself a snappy little palm pilot, you should always carry some record of your life around - either to book a date with the cute guy at the coffee shop, or for the police to have evidence of your name and address and that of your family, in case of an emergency!
c. the cell phone: ahh, the cell phone. while every FG has one, every FG also knows when to turn it off, n'est ce pas?
d. the mirror/lipstick: even if you're makeup-low-maintenance, like i am, it's always good to have your trusty favourite shade and a mirror. mine's clinique's black honey.
e. your keys: yours, your family's, your best friend's, your boy's.. whoever's! don't forget them.
f. the filthy habit: for the FG smokers among us, cigarettes are up there with cell phone and wallet for never-leave-behind accessories. i suppose if you don't smoke, you can tuck your halo in the empty space.
g. FGSP: what is this little bag of mystery? well, we shall see!
h. your purse: duh! try carrying all that stuff in your hands and looking fabulous.

The FGSP: Fabulous Girl Survival Pack

what is this, you might ask? well, it's not very big, it closes firmly, and no matter how tempting it is to travel super-light, no fabulous girl's purse should exist without it. let's face it, we're girls on the go! that means there are a handful of essential items that you simply must have with you, health-and-beauty wise. so if you haven't got the following handy list in your purse already, i suggest you start your own vite vite! what's inside?

a. chapstick: any kind you want, really. i love cherry because it reminds me of childhood.
b. contact lens solution: if you don't wear them, natch, ignore this. but if you do - remember, they always double as rewetting drops in a pinch!
c. makeup: this is the simplest kind - merely a tinted moisturizer in a tiny container. i use lancome's imanance.
d. mascara: again, this is lancome and it's a sample size. if you don't have any sample mascaras, hustle your more makeup-mad friends! no doubt one of them has a stash.
e. the little pouch: amazing how much it holds! again, this was part of a free gift at lancome.
f. hairthings: very important, especially if you're a gym-frequenter.
g. meds: everyone's got something... birth control, acid-reflux, wellbutrin. whatever it is you take [for me, it's the emergency allegra and some aleve], make sure you've got some of it on hand!
h. contact lens case: self-explanatory, especially for hot-date nights!
i. ______: girls, you know what this is. if you don't, go back to 2nd grade. now they make them in this handy compact size and non-marked plastic wrap. love it!
NB: depending on your sex life, you might want to consider having a little plastic-wrapped pal in your FGSP as well.

this list, of course, is rudimentary, but remember to try and keep it to the bare essentials. the bigger your Fabulous Girl Survival Pack, the more likely you'll be to leave it out of the smaller purses or more packed totes, and then what's the point?

remember: if charm is two parts fabulous, then fabulous is two parts prepared!

love, krissa .... 11:26 PM ... link!

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weekend holiday

well, i got tired of trying to grow my hair, and instead sacrificed a couple of inches in favor of, well, a saucy new bob. i also got a new pair of sexy burgundy slingback kitten heels. i realize that to most men, that sentence read "[unintelligible gobblygook] heels", but for anyone who worships the shoe gods like me
me and my girls, head over to pd's latest piece de resistance, the shoe project, and see my sexy heel addictions additions.

aside from cutting my hair and adorning my feet, this weekend was also perfect because:

* friday night's stellar performance by our own little songbird, followed by late-night dinner/drinks for twelve apostles tribe members.

* saturday morning, i woke up at one. yes, pm.

* the Great Mom arrived bearing goodies and company shortly thereafter, also hugs.

* i cooked a marvellous repast for two dear friends who sorely needed a break and some pampering. there was roast tomato and garlic soup, shallot oven-roasted whole chicken, oven-roasted new potatoes, and a celestial mousse au chocolat for dessert. followed by tea, cookies, and a rousing game of trivial pursuit.

* sunday morning was brunch with the Great Mom, biscuit and shivery, then a madcap shopping spree at target, then driving the two home to brooklyn and on the way, watching a glorious winter sun set down over the brooklyn bridge. the city as seen from the BQE never ceases to dazzle.

* sunday night pizza with the Great Mom, losing graciously to her over our family card game, and howling along to our old brasilian favourites.

Life sometimes gives you two solid days of perfection. and when it does, you should really bake Life yourself some cookies.

love, krissa .... 6:31 PM ... link!

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